You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
