that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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