This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
