My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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