erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
