just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
