I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize