i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
