The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
