I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
