And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
