I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have aggressive nipples.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
