Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
