Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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