I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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