im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
