Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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