But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
