I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
