I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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