We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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