You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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