bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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