Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
