just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize