I heard we made out
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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