Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize