...so i touched it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
