we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
