dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
