RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
