Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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