32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
