i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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