Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
