TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
