i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
