Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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