"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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