i would punch a child for taco bell
now i know why i became what i already was.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
