I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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