grandma shit on top of the toilet
this boner is exhausting
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
