I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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