So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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