I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
