Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I still have a little drunk in my system
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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