Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
