Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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