Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have fence marks all over my body
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
