is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
