i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
