I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
