I cockslap morals
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize