so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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