Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
