Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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