I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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