Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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