she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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