i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
