There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
