I just saw a hot homeless man
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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