My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
