I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
